he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
