you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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