Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
