I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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