she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
