oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize