I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
