Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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