she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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