Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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