apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I party with great urgency now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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