Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
