This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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