I haven't been this sober since birth.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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