it hurts more in the daytime
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
