So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
