Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can text with my tongue
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
