Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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