Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
