yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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