she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
