omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
did i walk over a car last night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
