Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize