Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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