Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
