69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
