Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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