That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
