I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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