how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
