Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
