Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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