windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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