I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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