Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
