He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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