don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
