He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
