can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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