420 ftw
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
