what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the condom got lost in my hair
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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