so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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