Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
