I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
