I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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