Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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