i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
