Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
