That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
50% drunk capacity currently
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
