Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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