return my video game
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
