Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
