"it" just moved
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's rum buckets o'clock
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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