and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize