she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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