I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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