well you can't waste a boner
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
