he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
