guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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