Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
