i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
